Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Playing The Blame Game

I was angry earlier. Really angry. I had been late leaving the office after being stuck on the phone and had missed my bus. I was livid and, naturally, as many of us do: I began to play the blame game.

It was my co-workers fault for not answering the phone.

It was the car drivers fault for not letting me cross the road.

It was the bus driver's fault for not waiting a bit longer for me to get on.

Image Courtesy of Google

So there I was, sat on the bench by the bus stop, near tears from the frustration of the day when I forced myself (after, admittedly, swearing loudly) to calm down and think about it logically.

It wasn't my co-workers fault that I had answered the phone, I could have left it for the answer machine to get and have picked up the message the next day.

It wasn't the drivers fault, they didn't know that I was desperate to cross- they were just trying to get home themselves.

It wasn't the bus driver's fault- they weren't to know that I was trying to get onto the bus.

It was a bitter pill to swallow and I didn't like admitting it to myself but at the end of the day it was my fault.

It struck me then, how often do we point the finger at something or someone else when we don't like how things have gone or when things don't go how we want them to?

Be honest with yourself: how often in a week do you blame someone else for something that's happened? From being late to not getting something that you were after? Twice a week? Three times? More?

Nine times out of ten, if we sit down and actually think about what happened, if we look at it from an objective viewpoint, we can see that it was in fact our fault in one way or another: whether this be by leaving late or just being unorganised.

Blaming other people doesn't get you anywhere- it doesn't solve anything. All it causes is resentment and anger towards other people who then, after receiving all of that negative attention, will pass that on to someone else. It's the start of a vicious circle.

So here's my challenge for this week. Take a deep breath and instead of getting annoyed and holding a grudge, think about it logically. Take the time to do this at the end of each day and see if you find yourself feeling any better for it.

It's OK to get angry every now and then (we're not saints!) but it's important not to dwell on it, it's not good- for both your health and your happiness.

Thoughts? Comments? Let me know below!